Grit & Grey

I am notoriously bad at remembering things per my friends and family. I mostly try to forget the bad, but many times I end up forgetting the good memories along with. I forget timelines of what happened and when. Sometimes I even forget that an event happened altogether. While this initially worried me, I’ve mostly settled into pleasant oblivion and have been just allowing myself to feel pleasantly surprised whenever someone jogs my very vague memory of the past. I remember some things though. Almost 2 years ago when I had my bachelorette party, my friends played a really sweet (and hilarious game) where everyone would write down a memory they shared with me and put it into a drawing pile, and another friend or two would randomly select a memory and act it out. I would have to guess who the memory belonged to. I remember laughing my ass off when two friends from two very different parts of my life started swaying, backs turn to me, and shaking and showing off their hair. I didn

This last week was packed to the brim with dinners and hangouts with various combinations of friends and my life has felt fuller, no doubt, because of it. There were a few moments I had during these hangouts that tripped me up. One was realizing in the middle of a dinner with friends I feel very comfortable around that I felt anxiety. I hadn't felt that kind of anxiety for awhile as I've been so focused on work, exercise, reading self-help books and trying to support my mom through her divorce - I thought I was over it. I thought to myself I'm almost 30. I've worked hard to put myself in the best imaginable place in life I could be. I'm growing into myself and letting go of the insecurities of my 20s. But there I was feeling society anxiety nonetheless. One of the books I've been reading, "Rising Strong" by Brenee Brown, teaches about rumbling with your emotions and getting curious about where they're coming from. So I sat there amidst the chat